Do Your Thing… Rebellion vs Compassion !
How often have you caught yourself speaking up and going against the grain?
Nonconformity is great if it involves your betterment in some way, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be loud!
Standing up for what we believe in or doing what is right for us, many a time lands us in arguments or sort of ugly situations or confrontations with others, be at home or work. People often get hell uncomfortable when they see you getting comfortable with your own choices. They seek drama but you do not need to ride that wave for sure.
It can be a boss ignoring your suggestions or a parent indifferent to the need of you having your own mental space or a spouse not supporting your career change, situations like these are endless and so common in our everyday lives. So, what do we do? Should we fight back or quit or keep quiet and suffer? Learning to be compassionate when somebody comes charging on you is a tricky art, yet I believe it can be developed. And when I say compassion I mean towards others as well as yourself! Everyone is allowed to have their own perspective, right or wrong, and you need not feel guilty for owning what is yours and standing right by it. Also, don’t resent others when they don’t understand you or vice-versa, do not take it personally but do not make yourself suffer either. Speak up if it’s required, step back if you need to, stop where you need to, set boundaries, or take action when you are called to!
Arguments or ranting or sulking, lead you nowhere… And when you think you can take no more just get yourself out of that situation. Pause before you give in to your impulses (we are all guilty of lashing back at others or just spitting out hatred on social media or make thoughtless conclusions, etc). I am asking to lean back a little bit from that situation, even if that means sitting in a restroom for the next 15-20 minutes if you have nowhere else to go. Acknowledge what you are feeling and simply let those feelings pass, be it anger, disappointment, or anything else! Do not let the heat of the moment get to your head and mess with your logic and at the same time allow yourself to feel what you need to feel and thus you save yourself from that frustration often caused by the friction of your head and heart. That is how you learn to make better choices when you are not in the best of situations.
People project their own insecurities, fears, and regrets onto you. Learn to see through the truth of the matter and dissociate your own core beliefs from somebody else’s projections. This becomes all the more important when these people holding us back are our own loved ones like parents, siblings, spouses, or friends. I strongly believe 9 out of 10 times they want to think good for you in their own ways, what their own experiences have taught them. But unfortunately, they are totally unaware that how their own subconscious is interfering with their good intentions towards you. They do not know that their own lack mindset, their own fears, their own traumas (often unaddressed or unnoticed even) and their own regrets are hindering the growth of the person they are talking to.
Do you think it’s deep or too much for you? Maybe you are thinking you do not have the capacity to understand or digest it… You gotta pause here! If you do not care to understand this shit, you have absolutely no right to complain about your life. It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with work-related issues or your personal life… It doesn’t matter you consider yourself an empath or a logical person, we are talking about the truth of the human psychology here and it marks its very presence in the life of every human being!
Nobody in this world has the right to define who you are or what you ought to be doing in your life or in a certain situation. At the same time, it doesn’t mean that you should not listen to the advice or suggestions of others because we learn so much from each other every day! What I find interesting is people do not understand where to draw the line. Some of them just submissively adapt according to the expectations of others or the belief systems of the society they grew up in and then there are some who feel as though they are in some constant battle with those they don’t resonate with! The same theory can be applied to your workplace.
You do not need to declare war if you wish to do something that doesn’t sit well with others and you definitely should not be smothered by the fears or expectations of others either. Instead, you need to be confident in your own thinking and learn to be accountable for your actions. You need to be comfortable with people not cheering you up when you expect them to be or not pick you up when you fall. When you make a decision, when you walk a different path, convince yourself and not others. Things can always go south and the thought of being alone or not supported can be daunting for anyone but when we are self-aware and make conscious choices every day, we will definitely be led to where we need to be!
If this sounds too much work to you, what about the bandwidth of attention you are giving to your Instagram or Twitter feeds or catching up with the international news or thinking about how should you stand up for that social cause? If you don’t want to pay attention to your own life, your close relationships, your real passions or maybe turning a passion into a career opportunity, what exactly are you doing with your life?
Look a bit deeper inside of you and your life! I feel some real compassion for people who think all this stuff I am talking about are mere theories and you need to just focus on the everyday grind to earn that name or afford that lifestyle or to reach that career goal.
So, I leave you here with a question… When you lay your head on the pillow each night, how do you feel?
Do you feel accomplished? Do you feel really happy within? Do you feel loved? Do you have someone you love(even if it’s a pet) ? Can you actually tell yourself that you are living a fulfilling life?
Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon… there is no rush, you can take it slow.
One day at a time, one thing at a time!!
